George Carlin - Euphemistic Language

I don't like euphemistic language, you know, words that shade the truth. American English is packed with euphemisms. Because Americans have trouble dealing with reality and in order to shield themselves from it. And they use soft language and somehow it gets worse with every generation. Here's an example.

There's a condition in combat that occurs when the soldiers completely stressed out and is on the verge of a nervous collapse. In World War I it was called "shell shock". Simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables. Shell shock. It almost sounds like the guns themselves. That was more than eighty years ago.

Then a generation passed, and in World War II the same combat condition was called "battle fatigue". Four syllables now; takes a little longer to say. Doesn't seem to hurt as much. "Fatigue" is a nicer word than "shock". Shell shock! Battle fatigue.

By the early 1950's, the Korean War had come along, and the very same condition was being called "operational exhaustion". The phrase was up to eight syllables now, and any last traces of humanity had been completely squeezed out of it. Like something that might happen to your car.

Then, barely fifteen years later, we got into Vietnam, and, thanks to the deceptions surrounding that war, it's no surprise that the very same condition was referred to as "post-traumatic stress disorder". Still eight syllables, but we've added a hyphen, and the pain is completely buried under jargon: post-traumatic stress disorder. I'll bet if they had still been calling it 'shell shock,' some of those Vietnam veterans might have received the attention they needed.

But it didn't happen, and one of the reasons is soft language; the language that takes the life out of life. And somehow it keeps getting worse. Here are some more examples.

At some point in my life, the following changes have occurred: Toilet paper = bathroom tissue, sneakers = running shoes, false teeth = dental appliances, medicine = medication, information = directory assistance, the dump = landfill, motels = motor lodges, house trailers = mobile homes, used cars = previously owned vehicles, room service = guest room dining, riot = civil disorder, strike = job action, zoo = wildlife park, jungle = rain forest, swamp = wetlands, glasses = prescription eyewear, garage = parking structure, drug addiction = substance abuse, soap opera = daytime drama, gambling joint = gaming resort, prostitute = sex worker, theater = performing arts center, wife beating = domestic violence, constipation = occasional irregularity

When I was a little boy, if I got sick I went to a doctor, who sent me to a hospital to be treated by other doctors. Now I go to a "family practitioner", who belongs to a "health maintenance organization", which sends me to a "wellness center" to be treated by "health-care delivery professionals".

Poor people used to live in slums. Now the "economically disadvantaged" occupy "substandard housing" in the "inner cities". And a lot of them are broke. They don’t have "negative cash flow." They’re broke! Because many of them were fired. In other words, management wanted to "curtail redundancies in the human resources area", and so, many workers are no longer "viable members of the workforce". Smug, greedy, well-fed white people have invented a language to conceal their sins. It's as simple as that.

The CIA doesn't kill anybody, they "neutralize" people. Or they "depopulate" an area. The government doesn't lie, it engages in "disinformation". The Pentagon actually measures nuclear radiation in something called "sunshine units." Israeli murderers are called "commandos", Arab commandos are called "terrorists". The contra killers were known as "freedom fighters". Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?

And some of this softened language is just silly and embarrassing. On the airlines they say they're going to preboard "passengers in need of special assistance." Cripples. Simple, honest, direct language. There's no shame attached to the word "cripple". No shame. It’s a word used in Bible translations: "Jesus healed the cripples." It doesn’t take six words to describe that condition.

But we don't have cripples anymore; instead we have the "physically challenged". Is that a grotesque enough evasion for you? How about "differently abled"? I've actually heard cripples referred to as differently abled. You can't even call them handicapped anymore. They say, "We’re not handicapped, we're handi-capable." These poor suckers have been bullshitted by the system into believing that if you change the name of the condition, somehow you'll change the condition. Well, it doesn't happen that way.

I'm sure you've noticed we have no deaf people in this country. "Hearing impaired". And no one's blind. "Partially sighted" or "visually impaired", And thank God we no longer have stupid children. Today's kids all have "learning disabilities". Or they're "minimally exceptional". How would you like to be told that about your child? Actually, it sounds faintly positive.

"He’s minimally exceptional."
"Oh, thank God for that, I guess."

Best of all, psychologists now call ugly people "those with severe appearance deficits". Things are so bad that any day I expect to hear a rape victim referred to as an unwilling sperm recipient.

Of course, it's been obvious for some time that there are no old people in this country. They all died, and what we have are "senior citizens". How's that for a lifeless, typically American, twentieth-century phrase? There's no pulse in a senior citizen.

But that's a term I've come to accept. That's what old people are going to be called. But the phrase I will continue to resist is when they describe an old person as being "ninety years young". Imagine how sad the fear of aging that is revealed in that phrase. To be unable even to use the word "old"; to have to use its antonym.

And I understand the fear of aging is natural; it's universal, isn't it? No one wants to get old, no one wants to die. But we do. We die. And we don’t like that, so we bullshit ourselves.

I started bullshitting myself when I reached my forties. I'd look in the mirror, and say, "Well, I guess I'm getting... older!" Older sounds better than old, doesn't it? Sounds like it might even last a little longer. Bullshit. I'm getting old. And it's okay. But the Baby Boomers can't handle that, and remember, the boomers invented most of this soft language. So now they've come up with a new life phrase: "pre-elderly", they said "pre-elderly." How sad. How relentlessly sad.

But it's all right, folks, because thanks to our fear of death, no one has to die; they can all just pass away. Or expire, like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital, it will be called a terminal episode. The insurance company will refer to it as negative patient-care outcome. And if it’s the result of malpractice, they'll say it was a therapeutic misadventure.

To be honest, some of this language makes me want to vomit. Well, perhaps "vomit" is too strong a word. It makes me want to engage in an involuntary, personal protein spill.

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・soft language　これはGeorge Carlinの造語。日本語にするなら「腑抜けた言い回し」ですかね。

・途中の聖書の引用はこれかな。

Luke 13:10-17: Jesus Heals a Crippled Woman | Washed By The Water
Now he was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And just then there appeared a woman with a spirit that had crippled her for eighteen years. She was bent over and was quite unable to stand up straight. When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said, “Woman, you are set free from your ailment.” When he laid his hands on her, immediately she stood straight up and began praising God.

・完全な transcript がなかったので、一部はディクテしました。間違ってたらごめーんね。